


Dicksabers

by CeliPuff, DarknessBound, I_Am_The_Blue_Sunshine



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Bottom Ares Montague/Top Jaskier Morningstar, Bottom Castiel/Top Dean Winchester, Dean and Jask Are Donuts, Glow-In-The-Dark Condoms, M/M, NSFW Art, Sexual Humor, Star Wars References, Sword Fighting, Tattooed Castiel (Supernatural), Tattooed Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-13 15:53:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29156130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CeliPuff/pseuds/CeliPuff, https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarknessBound/pseuds/DarknessBound, https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_Am_The_Blue_Sunshine/pseuds/I_Am_The_Blue_Sunshine
Summary: Castiel and Ares’ plans for a double date are derailed quickly when they return home to find their boyfriends being… well, their boyfriends. Dating Dean and Jask should’ve come with a warning label.
Relationships: Ares Montague/Jaskier Morningstar, Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 20
Kudos: 92
Collections: Destiel Smash Fest





	Dicksabers

**Author's Note:**

> This started as a comic strip that Blue and Celia created to surprise me, and so I **had** to write the one-shot to go with it.
> 
> This is the first look we get at art of Jask and Ares, and I have to say... Blue nailed it.

“Dean! Look at these things,” Jask says excitedly. He pulls out a row of condoms from his pocket and shoves them at Dean the second he makes it through the front door. “I stopped at that creepy gas station on the way here so Ares doesn't yell at me about running the car on empty again, and I hit the fucking jackpot.”

Dean snatches them and barks a laugh when he sees they're glow-in-the-dark. “This is awesome! Can you imagine fuckin’ in the dark but you can still see your dick? Speakin’ of dicks, does yours ever just get randomly hard and you’re just like ‘what is it, boy? What do you see?’”

“Yea,” Jask says with a smirk. “But honestly, that thing is usually Ares. Swear to god my dick knows where he is before my brain does.” He snatches one back and tears off the top. “Should we try ‘em on?”

Dean definitely understands that. Being with Cas has his dick almost permanently hard. “I dunno how we got such hot boyfriends, but we’re lucky. And _hell_ yeah, we should try these on. Naked? Think we got at least... twenty minutes for a dicksaber battle before they get outta class.”

His lumbering giant of a best friend is stripping before he even gets the full words out, then staring down at his flaccid cock and laughing. “Uh… Yeah, don't judge me.” Jask starts stroking, his eyes squeezed shut like he's trying to forget Dean is right there. 

“Strugglin’ a little there, grower?” Dean rushes out of his pants and has to do the same to get it hard, no way these condoms will stay on a soft cock. “Fuck... we’re gonna have to have time-outs to wank it. Gotta keep these battle ready.”

Jask peeks one eye open and then bites his lip as he rolls the condom on. "Yeah, D... Hate to break this to you, but I'm a human being. No way I'm smacking my dick against yours and it goes soft. No homo or anything, you know I'd throw you in a volcano for Ares, but... yeah. Okay." 

The latex snaps as it forms around Jask's long length, and Dean gallic shrugs at that admission. “Fair.” He rolls it on and then wipes his hands off, queuing up the _Star Wars_ theme to play on a loop. “It’s on now, Padawan.”

He mocks the lightsaber noise and stalks forward, but realizes quickly this is kinda weird without the lights off. He flips the switch and Jask cackles when he sees their cocks glowing green, and the next thing Dean knows, Jask’s luminescent dick is bouncing in the air as he runs at him. 

The first smack is weird. The second smack hits his thigh and makes him bust up laughing as he swings his own. They find a rhythm, slapping their cocks on each side and Dean realizes quickly that Jask was right. It isn’t sexual, but their dicks stay hard enough for them to keep battling. It turns out to be a bigger workout than Dean signed up for, but it’s probably the most fun he’s had without Cas in a long time.

Jask trips as Dean drives him back a little too far and knocks over one of the dining room chairs trying to catch himself, and by that point, they're laughing too hard to do much of anything — but when the theme song starts over, Jask lets out a battle cry and charges again. 

The way his giant friend looks as he runs at Dean has him laughing so hard tears are leaking from the corners of his eyes. He knows they probably look absolutely ridiculous, but at least there’s no one else around to see. 

~~~~

Ares loops his arm with Cas’, excited that they’re having their first double date in a while. “Think they’re dressed or did they both collectively forget about dinner?”

"Neither. They remember, they're probably just procrastinating and still wearing sweatpants. Not that I can complain about that," Cas adds. "Have you seen the way Dean looks in grey sweatpants? It shouldn't be legal."

Ares takes a few seconds to picture it — and appreciate it — before he’s nodding in agreement. “Grey sweatpants will be the death of me one day.” They start their ascent up the apartment stairs, both still picturing hot guys in sweats. “Okay, if they’re in sweats, we’re getting laid and then going.”

"I already prepped," Cas laughs. "We've been experimenting a little with public sex, so at least if we do get laid first, it shouldn't make us late."

“We fucked before class, so... I’m open, too.” Ares chuckles as they round their floor and looks at Cas when they can hear music coming from the cracks.

"Sounds like we were both wrong, they're watching _Star Wars_ instead of getting ready for dinner." Cas rolls his eyes as he pushes open the door, then stops dead when he sees nothing but two vibrantly green dicks shining through their dark apartment.

  
  
“I—” Ares is completely speechless. He definitely _isn’t_ surprised, not in the slightest, but he still has no words. He flicks on the light, and both of their boyfriends have to shield their eyes from the brightness, giving Castiel and Ares great views of their glorious cocks. “I was going to ask how the hell they convinced us to date them, but... I mean, I see the bright green appeal.” 

Dean flushes adorably as he makes his way to his phone to turn off the music. “Uh... This is exactly what it looks like.”

_His dick is fucking glowing... give me strength,_ Cas thinks. "Do we even want to know?"

Dean does that adorable shrug he does that makes Cas want to simultaneously slap him and kiss him, but he can’t help but smile.

“Is this my punishment for stealing your favorite shirt again?” Ares asks, shrugging off the shirt and throwing it at Jask with an amused grin.

"No, but now that you're stripping..." Jask waddles over to the table and grabs another condom, shoving it at Ares. "Join us, babe. My boner isn't going away anytime soon."

Ares takes the condom and busts up laughing, tossing it at Cas and then grabbing another. “Well mine isn’t either now, you two really are too gorgeous to be humans.”

Dean walks toward Cas while helicoptering his glowing cock. “Come to the green side, we have... sex.”

“I don't know why I love you so much,” Cas laments, but finds himself stripping right there in front of all of them. It's better than getting on his knees and sucking an alien cock like he wants to at the moment — like he always does anytime Dean is naked in his vicinity, but at least it's not always glowing. 

He takes the condom and rolls it on, huffing a laugh at how ridiculous he looks. But one glance at Ares tells him he's not alone, and the second the lights are off again and the music is back on, Cas smacks Dean’s length with his own. 

If it's more fun than he thought it would be… that's no one’s business but his. 

Four glowing dicks looks so ridiculous they’re all laughing more than they’re battling, but the second Jask cages Ares against the wall, it’s over. They’re technically in the dark, so Ares refuses to feel guilty as he spins around and presses his ass against that glowing hardness. 

On the other side of the room, Dean is determined to slap Cas’ ass with his cock and he refuses to give up. “C’mon, Cas, how are you so fast?”

“I'm full of surprises, Dean. You want me? Catch me.” Cas knows that apartment like the back of his hand, but trips over the fallen chair and hits the ground so hard his cock hurts. “Damnit,” he hisses.

Dean catches him, pressing down on top of him — and one glance to the right paints a pretty clear picture that Jask and Ares are already fucking.

“Those asshats took my idea.” Dean slots between Cas’ legs and kisses him, rutting their glowing cocks together. “You got the hottest green dick in all the land, babe.”

Cas bites Dean's lip hard and grips his hips. "I prepped for you," he teases as he wraps his legs around Dean. "I can feel the lube dripping out. All you have to do is slide in."

“Ahh, hell, baby.” Dean lines up, unable to fight it for even a second more and then he slides inside with a groan. He can hear Jask and Ares laugh at him, but he can’t find it in him to care; Cas feels too damn good.

From there, it's hard to tell where the sounds are coming from. Jask and Ares, Dean and Cas… the whole room is filled with the sound of breathless moans and the sight of two bouncing neon dicks and two disappearing ones. Cas tips his head back as Dean speeds up his thrusts, but he doesn't want to come… not yet. 

“Cas... fuck... I’ll never get over this ass. I love you so fucking much.” Dean speeds up, tempted to ditch the condom all together but the prospect of seeing four flaccid glowing dicks keeps his head in the game, that’s too damn hilarious to pass up.

Jask comes first, his loud moan echoing as the sound of his hips slamming against Ares’ ass get louder, and Ares follows shortly after. Cas squirms from the sound — something about knowing their best friends just fucked next to them has Cas pulsing, making that glowing condom jump. “Dean,” he moans. “Touch me.”

“I got you, baby. Fuck... M’close!” Dean grabs his cock and starts stroking... “Fuck... I’ll... race you.”

He tucks his knees up to change the angle and moans like a whore when Dean hits his sweet spot — and between that and Dean's hand, Cas is a goner. "Fuck racing. Come with me... Gods, I'm so pissed I won't feel you fill me up," he growls. "Come, Dean. Now."

“Cas!” Dean slams inside, coming with a growl and swallowing Cas’ moans as he joins him. They try to completely ignore Jask’s applause, but it’s obnoxiously loud and Ares slaps him for it, making all of them chuckle breathlessly.

The sound of the _Star Wars_ theme is still blaring out of Dean’s phone, and Cas lets his head drop back against the floor. “Someone turn on the damn lights… we’re going to be late.”

Ares makes his way to the lights and tosses Dean his phone after he stands and cracks his back. “Thanks. Watch our dicks be green or something... Oh, shit... are we gonna get Hulk dicks from the gamma rays?!” Everyone laughs at him and he joins in... pretending that panic wasn’t real. 

_Oh, well. Either way… it was worth it._


End file.
